remember

Remembering

Remember when I thought
     You will not let me be!
Well, here we are
I am near – and you so afar –

And there is nothing more
      that we can say
– there’s only the silence of tears drying away –

But I still remember
      when joy left my life –
your words hit my heart
     like a rusty knife –

And there is nothing more
      that we can do
– there’s only the emptiness of forgetting you!

Pain and Poison

Pain is like poison – at first you feel it –
Then it all becomes exhilarating –
You can never say you don’t enjoy it!

The Poison in the pain – at first you want it out!
Then it all becomes too vital –
– You must have more of the Potion –

Pain and Poison – Poison and Pain
How much of this exquisite Pleasure –
You gave me all and I never said: – No!

Never kill!

Never kill
   – He who has betrayed you
– immobilize him and look him
   in the eye
that you might recall
   when he looked you
      – in the eye
and smiled
   and lied
      and …
so much more!
They say:
   All is fair!
      – in war … and love… –
But never kill
   that one who has
    sold you for silver
   – and then came
      – to kiss you!

Eros oblige

Éros oblige

It is with heavy hand
     I hold the Feather:
my Soul to pour its
               Sorrow
– I have loved –
     my sunny dispositions
and searched for them
– Serenity – I longed for it!
Severeness comes with His favours
               to me
– Sincere apologies, my Lord!
     Since I can’t be the way
          You scream for
I must seek
          – either surrender
or better yet – skip away!
Since I cannot …
     Your whims suffice
I think it best
     – through your fingers –
Slip away…
Surprise!
     I managed for You
Myself to Sacrifice!
Suspense!
     It signified but Null to you!
It was my Sin
     – you gave me Sense to see
          Your true
Spirit – sacred!
but as all know:
L’amour oblige!

Cracked and Killed

I walked today through Forest’s paths,
So green Nature was!
Silence – and my steps came loud
– cracked it open, killed it too!

I went through muddy Trails today,
So fresh Rain was!
A snail – and my steps came down
– cracked its hut, killed it too!

I walked today through Memory lane,
So beautiful Dreams are!
Love – and my steps went away
– cracked its core, killed it too!

---

And I still dream, dream away,
Dream of me and you…
It is my heart, not yours,
I’ve cracked – and killed it too!

Still the Sun

the Sun
    – that rises from a dark see –
and sets into a gilded one – that Sun
has no guilt for my melancholy …
    though it provokes of my sad thoughts – some!
You’ve also risen
   from some sable waters of mine
– and then chosen to sink in some fiery silence –
  its echoes burning my patience to the ground!
You bare no fault to that, do you?
    going your own, tenebrous ways – whilst I roam
in joyful sorrow
   still searching
      still wanting
         still
           – my Sun!

Trapped – to the Core

Happy and carefree I walked down the lane,
gliding on its translucent surface – how joyful I was!
The bliss of not knowing…

Happily I mused and carefree I skipped
      – aaaah, the little pleasures of life!
innocent my pleasures must be, for wishing none
the world would care for…

Joyfully the path unfolded itself to me
as I slid, most happy and unawares,
of where the silky thread would lead my destiny!

Step after step – closer to the Core –
I approached it haughtily, as I pondered
on things of such depths, and feelings
of which nobody but me could approximate …

Happy and carefree I reached for the center
      – blinded by Its light – that would,
in the end, weigh heavy on my soul!

The brightness of the smile, the sweetness
      – brought in by the yearning –
numbed my sanity and imbued my heart
Oh, Nitty-Gritty! How splendid Thou art!

Carefree I slid, on the treacherous long lane
      – and most joyfully I bid
that I’d know It sooner, not later!

Disaster – You generous bastard! – has a way
of yielding bountifully to the heart’s desire
providing in abundance circumstances one
can only dream of – and the Core in silence awaits!

In silence, smiling – the imminent advent of the prey…
I glided – happy and carefree – looking towards It!
Reached to the core, on that beautiful day –

Trapped? – I did not feel… happy was I
to show Him my little tricks, to ask of His fate
      – I felt mine was with His … strongly
intertwined, spinning with joy under His shadowy eye!

Dizzy and dazzled, I swayed to and fro,
He kept smiling at me, I felt overwhelmed
      – suffocating and struggling – from all that joy!

Perfect it all was – His perfection coming down on me,
Oh, bewildering One! How lucky! How chanced!
How did I get entangled in this web?
      – let me out, let me out, I tell Thee!

Fidgeting and fighting – useless, I might add!
For the more I tried to get free,
tighter the silky thread wrapped around me…

In circles I went, on and on, neatly knitting myself
      – inside a cocoon, as it were!
and the smile was still there, and the flames in His eyes,
Its silence growing dense on me –

How did I end up here?! – I asked and looked back…
The silvery path was still there, the light…
But, alas! – I was no more – happy and carefree!

Tragedy of Two Worlds

This tragedy encompasses mine and yours –
      Two worlds so far apart!
I’d be the odd one in either of them –
      I’d be just a mis-art:

Two worlds – like two forts …
      they stand tall and proud
through the passage of time
One tragedy, too old…
– two hearts – united in one crime!

If ever I’d come in that remote land,
to be with you over there –
      I’d be the ugly duckling
To you, of no good use!
      I’d be just another wild mare!

To enter my own realm,
            You’d shine so much bright
      – just like the sun!
And me – you’d instantly transform
into a dazzling swan!

            But that would be
To my eternal damnation –
            for they’d finally have a case
to state that I was never one of them
– for choosing such, myself to debase…

We are of two worlds – mine and yours –
Held in one tragedy
      Forever you and me!
Yours, a world so robust
      And mine – ah!
What ever could I say of it,
That would bring the necessary pardon
            for it being a mere pit?

Where trivial genius and sparkling spirituals
live – asking one only to display
      a constant lack of passion
and a sound judgment
      of the most intense gray!

This tragedy is composed of two worlds
      - placed much too far apart!
But strange though it may seem,
      the tragedy touches only one heart!

pasarile negre

Păsările Negre

Si unde va duceţi voi – păsări negre?
brăzdaţi cerul posac căutând zări mai luminoase?
sau umblaţi după trecut?
Am obosit de-atâtea întrebări...

Pământul se roteşte – de ce n-ar sta şi fix?
zăpada cade – şi deci, nu se înalţă?
Chipul tău tot apare – în loc să se disipe
- între ruinele trecutului!

Detalii mici, mărunte –
toate-aş vrea acum să ţi le spun!
dar în zoburul lor – păsările mele
Mi-au luat cu ele vocea...

Un Pic Imperfect

Un pic imperfect – uite-aşa a fost totul –
          un pic nu-ştiu-cum, dar se putea oare (şi) altfel? –
precum o frumoasă amforă ... uşor ciobită într-un colţ – uite, chiar acolo,
în colţul ăla!
Un perfect mozaic – din care vreo două bucăţi de ceramică s-au rătăcit –
şi-au lăsat oglinda ştirbă!
Nu-i prea mare stricăciunea...
doar un pic de-asimetrie,
entuziastă tare, dalta a mers prea iute şi-a zgâriat –
Uite! Acolo, o fisură...

---

Şi totuşi – mică precupeaţă ce-am ajuns –
Dragostea mi-am scos la mezat,
aşa , un pic imperfectă cum e!

spring

Spring has come

Spring has come –
    the trees giggle!
They burst in flowery hiccups
    that fill the air
with scents of hope and joy –
caress me like the Breeze
when touching tender petals –
Seize me!
     – oh, make me whoop!
A thousand of my waves
I’ll surrender at Your feet!
Love me – I will sway!
Make me smile …
    the mists of my passions
will embrace you all the way…

Torture

The memory of you
     – that’s what makes me shiver –
the torture…
your torture, as to me
– my pleasure, entirely –
     your anguish,
my splendor – your pains –
     my victory!
My leave,
     your loss –
my games – your fall –
     my surprise: my ecstasy!
Your silence – my punishment –
Be kind: don’t leave me in agony!

Dementa

Demenţa

Decât să dau cu cuţitul în piatră,
mai bine aş da cu sufletul meu în sufletul tău –
      să vedem dacă ar ţâşni scântei – să vedem
          cât de sus ar scăpăra...
să vedem – să vedem
      dacă ai şti să stingi focul
încins în mine!
Să vedem dacă ştii să duci la
      bun final
ceea ce ai iscat, dacă poţi domoli
      dorul – amarul şi nebunul dor
pe care încă mă întreb:
de unde l-ai scos? ...
din ultimele cotloane,
cele mai ascunse unghere,
cele mai izolate lăcaşuri...
pe care le lăsasem...
bine uitate, în spatele unor speranţe
      infantile – ce demenţă!

One odd out

Odd One Out

I’ve always felt as the odd one out
    – the misfit –
In all instances, regarding others, even
     the ones so very close
– I’ve suffered … or so it seems –
by the Idiot’s syndrome:
seen as simple,
    in the company of elevated –
or as different,
    in a world of normal –
I’ve been regarded as pitiful … or arrogant!
But never as just –
     average!

---

That be my Salvation

heart and brain

Heart & Brain

When my Heart & my Brain
Will finally decide
To leave me alone

– then indeed shall I be
      Happy – happy & free!
… for one speaks for the
      Instinct
and the other for Society…

but till I have extracted
      both
I am nothing
      More than a slave
Torn between two masters,
      eternally at feud –
eternally broke & torn –
on my misery I brood…

when my Brain will stop
      – imposing
and my Heart – stop
      supposing
– then may I discover
      what my life is all about
and who is it that
      “I” is named by none other than …
myself!

trecator-mereu

Trecător, mereu:

Totul, mereu, este trecător –
     şi trecător fiind mereu – totul –
devine etern.

Dar şi Eternitatea trece –
     şi trecând,
devine şi ea ... eternă!

A trece, în etern
     a fi etern ... în trecere

Şi stau, etern, şi mă întreb,
     în trecere ...

De ce ne obosim să dăm
     sensuri?
devreme ce, de-o vreme,
sensurile se îngemănează,
devin egale, se confundă
şi la final –
nici nu le mai deosebim?

De ce luptăm atât
– să le găsim titluri
     – şi, apoi, categorii?

Ca să vină, într-o zi,
o minte lumintă,
şi să ne arate, clar,
că toate acestea-s
     ... doar prostii!

Whispers

When you see a jester talking
Try to learn: who is it that whispers into his ears
    drops of little truth
like bitter tears of poison
    that fill the empty brain
and stiffen the feeble soul
– but give raise to voice
and put force into the bowels –
to go forth to the world
repeating, repeating, repeating
with solid determination
prefabricated catchwords…
Like broken dolls
    with shiny keys behind
– wind them up gently
and you’ll see –
they go far, far, far
into stupidity!

desen realizat de Andreea Dinu visual artist

not good at

I was never good at

I was never good at 
    wearing armors
- that is why I let my soul
    be too much hurt;

I was never good at
    accepting lies
- that is why I let my mind
    be too much hurt;

I was never good at
    speaking out
- that is why I let my ego
    be too much hurt;

I was never good at
    fighting battles
- that is why I let myself
    be too much hurt;

I was never good at
    hurting others
- that is why I let them
    hurt me too much!

mas bien

Más bien

Resulta que la naturaleza humana
     es más bien divertida que diversa –
que la vida de la gente
     es más bien llena de gravedad que de gracia
- y  ¿el alma?
   la pobre alma … entre la estupidez y la envidia   – ¡se ahoga!

tanto vacio

Tanto vacío

Según nuestra personalidad,
           así nuestra fortuna –
Según nuestros caprichos,
          así  nuestros amores –
   – Todo, vanidad –
al final, ni la nada
no pudiese
contener
  ¡tanto vacío!